Do you feel pressured to be ‘manly’?

With deep-rooted ideas about masculinity in our society comes the pressure of men having to provide for their families, bottle up their emotions and generally act ‘manly’. Patriot finds out what men in Delhi-NCR feel about this

Pressure to be masculine

Photo: Freepik

Rajesh Shukla, 35

Chartered Accountant, Aya Nagar 

I always feel the pressure. Being the only son of my parents, I always consider it my duty to take care of the family. It is my moral obligation to tend to their needs financially. Sometimes, I wonder how different things would have been if I had a brother I would have been more relaxed. I don’t express my feelings to anyone. It is difficult for me to share my emotions even with my wife.Rajesh Shukla

 

Prashant Soni, 27

Financial Analyst, Subhash Nagar 

Sometimes, there are situations where I need some emotional support and due to societal pressure, I can’t express myself as I want to. We are taught from childhood that ‘strong people don’t cry’. Things were worse during my teenage years: I used to feel suffocated. With time, I understood the nature of society and made a friend with whom I freely express anything without the fear of being judged.Prashant Soni

 

Faizan Israili, 29

Senior Executive, Kalindi Kunj 

A real man is someone who watches sports, fights for truth, works hard, enjoys life and never shows weakness. Being a male, I am responsible to give a better life to the family. There is a constant pressure to get into a good career at the right age, before getting married. A real man will overcome all these obstacles to live a happy life in all circumstances. Initially, I wanted to express my emotions, but I couldn’t. Now, I don’t display my emotions and am strong at all times. I never cry in front of someone as it would make me look weak. Sometimes, I cry in solitude.Faizan Israili

Shakil Jamal, 56

Businessman, Batla House 

I feel pressured regarding the societal status and education of my children. I have to struggle to earn the respect of society as everyone judges a man based on his financial status. You have to act strong all the time as if everything is perfect in your life. If you express your feelings, people make fun of you. I cry sometimes in front of my family, but I can’t be vulnerable in front of others. Men too need moral support and appreciation to work better. A man has the strength to tolerate all odd circumstances. Even if a man gets financial support from his wife or children, he has to be the bread earner of the family.Shakil Jamal

 

Vibhav Pandey, 34

Assistant Manager, Kaushambi 

It’s something that you are born with. Why should I feel pressured? If it’s because of the people around you, then you should have a positive attitude to tackle them. I have to act strong only in front of  outsiders, not with the close ones. I do cry whenever I am overwhelmed with emotions. I think everyone is equal and is free to do what they want. We all should respect each other and stop judging people around us.Vibhav Pandey

 

Manu Kalra, 36

Sales Executive, Patel Nagar 

Society thinks that all responsibility lies with men. I have sisters who look after my parents in a better way than I do, but I think taking care of my parents is my responsibility. I have to be strong at all times because I know I am the one who has to handle any situation by hook or by crook. I never cry in front of others, or tell my friends and family about how I feel as I don’t want them to be bothered or upset because of me.Manu Kalra

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Wara Samar
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