Karan Thapar interviews himself after being inundated with interview requests, since his book gained media attention

Ever since the extracts from my book began to appear in various media outlets, I have been inundated with hundreds of requests for interviews. While I have acquiesced to participate in some of them, I have found all of them lacking. None of the interviewers could come even close to the standard I deserve. So I called upon the person who set the standard when it comes to interviews in this country. The man who literally invented news journalism in India. You guessed it, ladies and gentlemen. I’m talking about me! The following is an exclusive transcript of that legendary moment in time when Karan Thapar interviewed Karan Thapar.

Karan: Thank you for those effusive words of praise, Karan. I don’t think I deserve them but I’m still grateful.

Karan: You’re welcome. As always, you never fail to surprise me with your humility.

Karan: It must be the first time in history the subject of the interview has introduced the person conducting the interview.

Karan: I believe so.

Karan: Another feather on your cap, then. Now, I hope you realise that just because you flatter me, it doesn’t mean that I will go easy on you.

Karan: I would expect nothing less from you. I know you’re a consummate professional and won’t hold back!

Karan: Now, many people would think that this is quite indulgent. Interviewing yourself seems a little too far, even for you.

Karan: Well, it’s not my fault that I couldn’t find anyone else good enough to match my intelligence and wit. Also, I’m just following the trend set by our great national leader. The difference is, he gets someone else to ask him the questions he wants to answer. I’m just cutting out the middleman!

Karan: That was a brilliant deflection! When someone points a finger at you, point one back.

Karan: (smug laughter)That’s one of the tricks I learned during my time as President of the Cambridge Union.

Karan: Ah! I was wondering when you’d bring that up. Speaking of being braggadocious, one of the things apparent to anyone who reads your book is that you brag about being friends with some really terrible people. You didn’t have to let everyone know that you were close to them, yet you take some sort of perverse pleasure in name-dropping some real life villains. Should we call it a lack of self-awareness or are you really not bothered by their actions?

Karan: Look, I know I currently am and previously have been friends with terrible people. But the fact remains that even though they might have participated in some activities and taken some decisions that might have negatively affected a large group of people, they always were nice to me, the guy who shared his huge media platform with them. In fact, I found that on many occasions they were quite eager to curry favour with me, a person from their immediate social circle. Though, to be fair, I was never able to figure out why I got this special treatment.

Karan: In one chapter, you mention a plane ride you took with Sanjay Gandhi in which he played a terrible prank on hapless villagers. Did it not occur to you how deranged that would sound to your readers?

Karan: It did occur to me that certain anecdotes could be interpreted in the wrong way! However, I still elected to keep them in the book. That is because I want everybody to know that not only am I close friends with monstrous people, I am one myself!
Karan: I can confirm that.

To read the full interview, visit: www.newslaundry.com