What if you had been on a promising first date and then couldn’t follow up because of the lockdown? Here’s a tale of lust in the time of Coronavirus
In March, I went on a date and this guy showed up wearing a mask. Masked men neither fascinate me nor turn me on. The only masked men I saw were in the Paris Gay Pride Parade where they donned outrageous harnesses, bustiers and dog-tails to strut around the city.
I showed those photos to my mom. She was repulsed as if struck with a current and had only one word for this, “Jahennum” (hell). I cracked up.
I saw masked men in X-rated movies but never wanted to wear one. Dominatrix could be fun but I am so old school, I like plain boring sex. I tried some role play a couple of times but was bored within 10 minutes.
Yet I am a lot to handle sexually. I even had a secret ID in a fetish website called ‘tentatively_slave’ but never had the courage to continue there. Then I lost my password and totally forgot about it. It’s a phase, they say.
I am both romantic and a sexaholic – please note, the two are different things. I don’t think the virus will make much difference in my love life or the way I look at the one I am dating at the moment. I am socially responsible and I am not even pushing my lips towards him to kiss me. I look into his eyes, he wants to chew my lips and slip his tongue into my mouth. I want it too but this is called controlling temptations.
For me, getting a guy is not a big deal. I look into his eyes once, give him a mystic half-smile, bite my lower lip and then turn around and don’t pay any attention. The game is won. My friends say I have too much chutzpah but I don’t think so. I just have been very lucky getting guys.
To get back to the date, he took off his mask but I’m maintaining social distancing. I am extra conscious about my onion breath from lunch. I am sitting opposite him at least three feet away. And then he starts to talk. Oh my God, he has an accent. In India if you have an English accent it means everyone wants you. Your life becomes super easy. It’s hilarious how girls go crazy about guys with accents here.
I take out my sanitizer. He looks at me. He is so sexy, soft muscles with a square jaw, pearly teeth from which a tongue peeps out, in and out often. He is a total ball of sex. This killer virus crisis is putting all our relationships to the toughest test. I switched my phone to airplane mode. I want to concentrate on him. Is this the ‘new normal’? You can see but you can’t touch. The dynamics of relationships are changing. People are not in a hurry to get physical in this testing time. I think I’m already Corona-cuffed with him. I am slowing it down. Period.
At such a time, should I explain my own sexual interest, to make sure it’s stirring him as well? We will have to exercise a lot of self-restraint, experience a lot of anxiety. I hope it’s just a blip. This too shall pass and we’ll be back to our ‘old normal’ very soon. I’m a queen of wishful thinking. There’s no tax for dreaming a dream.
One virus has changed this entire world and our thought process. How powerful it is! But I am in a better place I guess. Imagine being separated from the one you love the most. Or cooped up with the one you don’t, or being totally alone in middle of nowhere?
I’m lucky he has been relentlessly flirtatious since the time we met. We talked a lot and have probably had sex with each other so many times through our eyes. He gets it. It always takes two to tango, you know. He seems cool, level-headed, clever, sporty – and I am totally into him. We had been texting each other, then I got stuck somewhere in Uttarakhand. He texted he was on a holiday at his cousin’s in Mumbai. By the time he got back to Delhi, the new rules were already enforced. Within a few days, the lockdown was in full swing. And we are practically separated now.
He called last night. We talked for hours. He wanted to see me butt-naked on video call and I laughed out loud. How to move my camera to the extent that my butt would be visible? I wish I had long arms like those ghosts in horror movies. He was smart. He asked me to go to the bathroom but my bathroom mirror isn’t big enough for that. I had turn down the offer. He can wait for now. We don’t have much choice.
How confidently I say these things, thinking I know all about him just after one date. I feel proud somewhere deep down. That date didn’t end up in bed and he didn’t get me drunk or take advantage of me. He could have done it. I fall easily, you know. Now I’m both dreaming and dreading to meet him in the time of Corona.
I received a sales call this morning. This may indicate that lockdown is getting over soon. I’m hopeful, you see. It’s a waiting game again. I keep guessing number of times in a day when this lockdown will be over and watch intently those internet channels, even fake news, to educate myself for the best and worst.
We give each other a month. I cannot risk being the one to infect him. It’s not fair and I expect the same from him. He gets it. My steamy whirlwind romance is on a strange lull. Also it’s so peaceful and quiet outside. I am enjoying the silence for a change. It looks like I am on a temporary truce. I am totally enjoying it till the time I meet him again. He has constantly been on my mind and he keeps in touch on a daily basis. Hope he remains Corona-free till the time we unite.
Some think that this world is one self-indulgent place for sex. I believe it’s quite true — when you don’t get to do it often. But patience is a virtue and I have it. In case it doesn’t work out, then I’ll choose another. Long practice of infidelity makes you tough and resourceful. Life is a book with many chapters, they say. One is open while another is already closed. Hoping the Corona chapter will perpetually close some day soon! Prayers.
Writer is a failed scholar, polyamorous, always partying and sometimes a mess