‘I lost all my confidence’

I got my first job after completing post-graduation in journalism. I started out at a magazine. There I was under a female supervisor. Initially, she was helpful and would be readily available whenever I needed help. Gradually, she started behaving badly with me.

She would rebuke me at the slightest provocation and would hardly appreciate any effort I put in. She would often tell me that I should not have got this job, someone deserving should be in my place. She also told me that I have no talent and that my writing is really bad.

In spite of all these admonishments, I was determined not to give up. But to make things worse, she started overloading me with work. I was told to stay back at office way past my duty time. Moreover, she hardly praised me for all the things I did. When I asked her once what I should do in order to improve myself, she said I was beyond improvement. I felt extremely demotivated and would often think of leaving the job — as well as journalism.

Maybe, it might sound like harmless criticism, but it was much more than that. She made me believe that I am worthless and that I will never survive in the world of media with such ‘mediocricity’. All these things made me lose confidence in myself. Thus, I was left with no other option but to quit my job.

— As told to Shruti Das

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